Humanity

I spent my first few months here observing the differences between America and Egypt, being amazed at things I would absolutely never see back home. I was particularly prone to thinking of all the ways that Egypt was better than America, partly because it really is an amazing place, but also partly because I was trying to remind myself why I traded home for this craziness.

Now that I've been here awhile, I guess that I'm not seeing things as strange anymore, as I said in my last blog, the romanticism is gone, everything seems so freakin' normal now. I guess this is good. One thing that it has allowed is my finer perceptions to come out. Another thing it has allowed is me getting the urge that its time to move on again. When things start to get boring or difficult and I start putting down roots, my instinct is to leave. Fortunately, I don't have the money for that to be an option, for once in my life. So I'm here for another three months, despite my instincts to cut and run.

Another thing that this has allowed is me to start to see the similarities, the universals, that pervade cultures and places on this earth. Seeing these similarities has sometimes made me so ridiculously happy to be a human being at times, and at other times, particularly recently, made me angry and depressed.

For instance:

1. All human societies set up some sort of hierarchy, some sort of way that certain groups are higher than others (in America and even more so in Egypt, its all about class, with other hierarchies thrown in). Everyone fights for the top positions (to stay or to get there) and everyone avoids getting to know people in other groups too well because then it would be more and more impossible to keep fighting without sullying your conscience. Every society has rich people and poor people ghettos, so that rich people can keep themselves and those under them believing that they are normal, that there is nothing else to see in life but how they live.

Today I left Maasara, a crowded, noisy, lower class area with trash mountains in the dirt streets and I entered Maadi, the rich, foreign enclave suburb of Cairo. It was beautiful, green trees, mansions, sprinklers, birds chirping, quiet. I loved it. The occassional begger broke my seemingly heavenly world outside of Cairo and I was glad I left my wallet behind so that I had nothing to give and therefore didn't have to feel guilty about refusing. When I started to walk to the edge or caught a taxi out of this area, I sighed in sadness that the trash and poverty and face of normal Cairo were showing once again. I say that I hate the class system, the isolation of the rich from the rest of the world, and yet this is how I think, how I act, what I appreciate. How depressing.

2. People are afraid so they protect themselves and those they love from exploring. Why does this so often seem to be the overtly religious people too? Is it that these people are scared that they are wrong, that God really doesn't exist the way they think he does, that he's really not that powerful and true and so therefore they make a big show to convince themselves and others of the truth of their statements, and then go about protecting themselves and others they love from anything that might challenge their fragile faith?

My sister here burst into tears spontaneously today and I could only figure that it had something to do with being trapped in her house, not allowed to walk to streets, have any communication with the opposite gender, ever oppose her family or disobey an order. I wanted to cry with her. Then I tell my Egyptian mother and father that I can't come next week because I'm going to the Cinema with friends from work. Father says: "who, are they girls or boys?" in such an insistent way that I just say girls, even though I'm really not sure of the gender make-up of the group. He nods his head and says yes. Mother says: "Jesus will be angry at you for going to the cinema."
WHAT?! I ask,"why?" She says, "because." I inquire, "because of the film or the cinema?" She tells me both. At this point I just am itching to fight. But at least I can fight, and I don't have to listen to these things, for my sister, this kind of thinking is her reality, and I can see her not liking it.

Why is it that my Muslim friend here is told by several of her friends that she should stay away from me because I'm a Christian and I'll try to convert her. I won't, but even if I was trying, so what? If you really believe your faith, people with other ideas and opening yourself up to see the world can only strengthen it. A pursuit of the truth will unveil truth. God's truths should be stronger than the worlds' lies.

3. People judge people artificially. We look at a person's skin, the sound of their voice, the place that they live, the tightness of their clothes, the group they belong to, and the money they make and we categorize them. We fit things into boxes, that's how our brain works, so we fit people into boxes for reality to make sense.

4. Injustice. Life just isn't fair. Life is fraught with double standards, hypocrisy, betrayal, prejudice, inequalities and the like. I, as an upper class, well-educated American citizen, have seemingly everything. I have freedom to go almost anywhere in the world, get a good job, be respected and well-fed, live according to the moral standards and faith that I choose. These things are categorically denied to most of the world, for example.

But then I look at this and see the other side of the coin. Humanity, along with acting and thinking and living unjustly, also shares a sense of justice, and an idea that it should be pursued, that its the way things should be. We share love, we share humor, and we share beauty and the acknowledgment of beauty in a deeper way, and although we are often selfish, we also sometimes act with self-sacrifice. And so perhaps there's hope for us that we can someday live not like this.