The worst days yet + death and dying

Ok so to counter the last entry...

The last couple days have been the worst ever. Yesterday I was sick, had terrible chills in a ridiculously air conditioned work place, wasn't able to eat much, had to teach eight hours straight yesterday, had a little bratty snot-nosed kid in my last class of the night who told me I reminded him of legally blond and one of the four teachers at our school quit with no notice, leaving us having to deal with her students. But on the bright side (probably the only way I made it through the day), Egyptians love to give gifts, and were feeling especially generous, they must've known. So one of my favorite students gave me a peice of candy, Mr. Arabee who runs the kitchen at work, gave me an instant coffee packet and told me how to make it (usually this is 2 lbs) and wrapped up my extra food for me. The guy who runs the snack stand next to our metro stop gave me my chocolate bar, knock off oreos and water for free, and so I survived.

Today, I'm still sick, its one of the hottest, sunniest days yet, I heard the ridiculously sad story of my sister here being beaten by two husbands in a row, the first time to the point where she was unable to speak for six months and the second time starved and beaten so that she wouldn't have a child, and yet she still needs to spend time with her husband so that he will sign the birth certificate for her child (you need this in Egypt). Then left for work and the metro wasn't working. I waited a half hour at our stop then shoved my way on the ridiculously overcrowded ridiculously slow train. I don't think anyone understands quite the resemblance to a cattle car that these train cars have when crowded, like squished up against each other, smelling each other's head scarves, ten hands on the same pole kind of thing. I was on there for an hour, my sight blurred into light like three times so I couldn't see what stop I was at, and I had to crouch on the ground between the massive bodies of robed, smelly women who seemed perfectly content chatting away with each other in this situation. The worst part was stopping between stops (no breeze, doors closed, small crowded entrapped space, which is my biggest fear and like clinically makes me sick). Like an hour later I fell out of the door amidst shoving at my stop and sat on the ground for like 10 minutes, at this point I'm an hour late for work. Oh fun. Now I'm doing alright, got some cookies from another one of my favorite vendors who waves at me everyday and tries to talk to me. I'm sure I looked like a ghost, but still he was excited to see me. So I bought the cookies, ate half, and then still passed them off as birthday cake for my coworker since I forgot his birthday yesterday, we sang happy birthday and pretended a pen was a candle, great.

So on to death and dying meditations.

I was suddenly aware a few days ago that people must die here. I heard intense wailing, the kind where someone must've died coming from a house on our street, and saw a woman sadly close the window shade. I all of a sudden thought, as much as I've romanticized this place, people die and are dieing, and then what happens? People here are so attached to each other, our younger sister here is crying that we're moving across town after she's known us three weeks. What if someone in their family died? Life expectancy can't be so good in Egypt as America, and the population density is much higher, how many people must be dying in just my neighborhood in one day? or one week? I knew that there was the everyday tragedies of poverty, sickness, and boredom, but for some reason I forgot about death, although I've heard about people who have died all the time. Maybe its just too overwhelming to think about.

Ok that's all.

Why I have the best life ever

Ok this is why my living situation is the most fortunate I could have right now

1. I live in Egypt, which I love
2. I'm learning what I want to learn while paying nothing and not having to go to class
- I'm learning Arabic (word of the day from my co-worker is saqif = ridiculous, ex: inta saqif = you are ridiculous)
- I'm learning about culture (saqafa)
- I'm reading whatever books I want (kierkegaard at the moment) under no compulsion
- I'm learning how to cook and clean and keep house from a very patient house full of women (stuffed and spiced eggplant, fried and mashed potatoes)
- I'm learning about myself and what I am capable of
- I'm learning about politics and social issues in Egypt and the Middle East
- I'm learning how to teach, and more about English grammar than I learned in 12 years of school
3. I'm working at a job that requires creativity and sociability and thinking, but not in excess and only for 4-6 hours a day, with the coolest, most laid back students and coworkers ever and no boss
4. I'm living with two other girls plus an entire family of women who are all amazingly caring, smart, and patient with me
5. I have a whole year ahead of me, which is not a ridiculously undoable time, but time enough to be excited about and get involved in it.

Ok here are some highlights from the last few days:

- playing a modified version of never have I ever in order to practice the past participle question construction in my classes. Quite amusing.
- being called out of class by the administrators at my school to show me that they were talking to my brother, in california, on skype, on my computer, and that he was very beautiful
-scraping the guts out of eggplants and taking down laundry from the balcony with my 16 year old new sister
- taking pictures with my two baby sisters and a larger than life mural of Jesus in our family's apartment

The Kirsten Dance and other ridiculousness in Egypt

I'm settling into a routine of teaching and hanging out with my family here. I'm starting to be able to have somewhat real conversations in arabic (with a few english words thrown in and really dumbed down). For example the other day we talked about welfare in America in very superficial terms, and today I talked with my sister Sarah about the possibility that her school will hold her back just because the high school is too full and my other sister about the crappy husbands she's had. So unfair all around!

My students are awesome and I love working probably the most out of my day. I get really into the explanations of words and none of my students are surly, all Egyptians are joking all the time (which makes class always fun) as my coworker said to my mother, after telling her George Bush was a very intelligent man and he wanted to marry me. Haha, my poor mom.

We signed a nine month lease for an apartment in the garden city area of cairo

for those of you who know the Kirsten dance....

It was quite the success in Egypt. My sisters here after insisting that I dance (of course they're all professional level belly dancers, as is Alissa my roommate) were given the major privilege of the Kirsten dance. I informed them that I know this only. They told me I had to move my hips, and stop with the hand motions. They held my hands down so that the Kirsten dance was impossible, which resulted in my looking like a penguin. My sisters here were basically doubled over and crying with laughter and now "airifa keda bas" ("I know this only") while mimicing the Kirsten dance is a running joke every time they see me. Haha.

Ok I only have internet at work so I'm there now and I'm teaching in about five minutes so I have to look up some words.
maasalaama

Sociological Observations: Sisterhood and Romance

Ok so having a sociology degree and all I thought I might let you in on some observations I've made. Sisterhood and Couples are powerful social institutions here so I will attempt to describe.

Sisterhood

There is a collective consciousness of what it means to be female, and the role that all women have in looking out for each other. This is particularly apparent within the family home and the womens' metro car.

APPEARANCE:
First of all, it is the responsibility of all women to look out for each others physical appearance in public. This means that pointing out physical flaws among women is not only not rude, but the most polite way of expressing sisterly love. I mean you wouldn't want your sister to go out looking like that in public, right? (my friend Jo is excellent at this form of sisterly love, hehe).

For instance, my new Egyptian sister, after calling my eyebrows wahish and mish kwayis (ugly and not good) proceeded to use a piece of twisted thread to rapidly pull out every piece of disapproved hair on my face and Eunice’s (don’t ask how this is possible). After this extremely painful procedure (I was literally crying and bit my lip to the point of bleeding) they proceeded to proclaim that I was now a girl, before they had thought maybe I was a boy. Eunice and I laughed really hard when they said this and so they proceeded to tell us this probably twenty times over the next two days, next commenting on various other peoples’ excessive leg and arm hair which made them look like men, to their face, this was always funny and never offensive. We also had an interesting comparison of beauty procedures in America and Egypt and their costs and health issues, even with the language barrier, which was amazing.

Another example: while riding the metro, two heavily make-uped and higabed girls in front of me proceed to touch up each others' faces. One has a dark zit the size of half her nose that the other is furiously trying to cover with make up. A few minutes later, another stranger comes across the train to comment on the zit and give tips for helping it go away, while feeling all over her nose. All three girls laugh about this, thank each other, and this stranger gets off the train.

DANCING:
All women in Egypt know how to dance. Lydia, our five year old neice of sorts, puts on a ridiculously good dance show every night in her home. Last night all the women of the family (including us) were forced to participate. They use a bowl for a tabla (drum), haul out the boom box and clapping, and the women show off their stuff while the father of the family (Abu Hany) is locked in his room. This is for women only.


Romance

LITERATURE:
interesting observation by Amir (my English lit major colleague): There are a lo of differences between Arabic literature and English literature. For instance, we always compare things to our beloved, not the other way around, because she is obviously more beautiful than anything else in the world. Also, we would never say, like Shakespeare, "shall I compare thee to a summer's day?" because summer is hot and miserable. That would be an insult.

WEDDINGS:
there have been about 12 weddings that I've seen since I've been here for about two weeks, I've been invited to at least 5 weddings.

Weddings involve huge parties where everyone's invited, there's dancing, processing with singing, clapping and ululating through the streets while women wear ridiculous huge white dresses with long sleeved skin colored shirts underneath and insane amounts of garish make up.

It costs 40,000 Egyptian pounds just to pay the government to be able to get married (this is a ton of money) and then you have to pay for the huge party in which you feed everyone (slaughter an ox perhaps?) and make sure they're happy. Luckily the drinking doesn't really happen, that would be another ridiculous cost.

Everyone I've talked to here has stated marriage as having already happened for them or a goal for their future, and also is always a good topic for conversation: when, with what kind of person, etc.

In other news

I visited my host family this weekend, they were super excited to see me, as I was to see them. I was a lot more relaxed in the crazy neighborhood of embaba this time, and my host mama still has the ring I gave her, and watch. I love her lots. Pictures are kinda hard to deal with here with the internet, but hopefully I can post some more.

My students are amazing. One called yesterday to sign up for another class and requested me as their teacher! yay! Another one is also working on juvenile justice in the court system in Egypt to make it work better and to end female circumcision, craziness!! I feel unqualified but evidently I am. People are always like, "inti modarisa? inti sowayer!" (you're a teacher? you're so young!) but its great. I got the schedule worked out more too with the other teacher.

OK so that's all I have time for. Love you all!

more details

So yesterday I was a little rushed.

I want to give you more of a picture of my everyday.

I wake up on my air mattress to the sounds of yelling children and chickens in the alleyway/street drenched in about four layers of sweat, my neck to be particularly itchy (I can't figure out why its always my neck that itches). We have no AC so ceiling fans and open windows are all we get in the way of relief from Cairo heat in August.

If I have work in the morning (this happens ocassionally with last minute notice, I haul myself out of bed to prepare some breakfast - maybe some shot glasses of cinnamon tea with two sugars and eggs with gibna baieda istanbuli (white istanbuli cheese) or egyptian knock off frosted flakes. I then shower - ok so this is fun. I crouch in a tiny green plastic tub under a faucet two feet off the ground and somehow manage to get sort of clean.

I then get dressed, I now have completely dried and regained at least two layers of sweat. I go across the hall, say good morning to our new family and ask them to unlock the building so I can leave (Sabah il Kheer, mumkin il baab? - Good morning, maybe the door?)

I waltz along the blindingly bright Shara'a, hopefully having remembered my sunglasses, now expertly winding between carpenters, cars, motorcycles, running kids, a hundred mothers staring from their balconies, and this is the calm time of day. I make it to the main street (or minibus deathtrap as Alissa calls it), walk past the herd of sheep that daily grazes in the garbage pile in the center divide and the family that grazes with them, walk past the little mosque also in the center divide, past the empty Ahwa (tea, coffee, and hookah shop) also in the center divide among little girls asking me what time it is and young men congratulating themselves on their always clever "welcome to Egypt."

I then wind through several small alleys to the metro station, buy myself a bottle of water, look at all the delicious fruit I wish I didn't have to wash in Clorox to eat, slip the ticket vendor one Egyptian pound, take the small yellow ticket, insert it in the machine, walk through to the train platform, try to find other women to stand near, and wait. The train pulls up, I make sure to make it onto one of the womens' cars (the alternative is not so fun). I sit down, the stares seem not as bad as last time I was here, maybe I blend in more, haha. I watch the women across from me deep in reading and reciting from their mini Qur'ans. I can pick out the Muslims and Christians from their having or lacking head scarves. I guess its gotten to the point where all Muslim women cover their hair, and they look gorgeous too. I feel ridiculously vain with my hair uncovered and down, like I'm half naked or something, especially cause my hair is obviously a pretty unique color here. As my family and bosses say, I look American, haha, I'm glad to be a stereotype.

So I arrive at my stop, I get off, walk down the street past my favorite snack stand, maybe buy a coke or chips or something. I continue through the garden lined street to my school. This place is ridiculous, I have children when I'm there in the morning, and they're all extremely well behaved. I have adult students at night. Conversation classes with adults are the best because we just talk on any topic, and they are all ridiculously smart and well informed. They talk about health care policies, the American elections, Egyptian politics, education, gender stereotypes. SO basically its my excuse to talk about interesting topics with Egyptians in my own language and get paid for it, and they love it.

My bosses / school secretaries though speak some English, flirt shamelessly, although harmlessly, and are ridiculously unorganized, they've told me to come when there's no class, signed me up for two classes at once, made me eat this full feast of bread, cheese, mashed potato egg dish and grapes arranged gorgeously in a class room as a thank you from the marketing guy for looking American (seriously that's what they said), while my students waited for me, lieing to me that I didn't have class.

So ya they need a little help on the organization, which I offered to do, but they didn't really want it. However, this is a little too laid back even for me, although I love that the office is a place to hang out and relax, and has AC... Amazing.

So after work I walk back to the metro station, sometimes go to Midan Tahrir to a coffee shop or take a field trip to see the citadel with freddy or something, but if its at night I have to get home by ten before they lock the building. I power walk back to the metro in a beautiful sunset when everyone begins to come out on the street. I ride to my stop, el Maasara, then navigate my way back through the alleyways which are completely different at night with all the stores open and people everywhere the dodging of children on bikes and on foot as well as the extremely clever young men still saying "Welcome to Egypt." I stop usually to buy something - coke or tomatoes or juice or water, but not that long because I need to be back by ten and there's no knowing what obstacles might be in my way. So back finally past the mosque, usually around time for call to prayer, blasted over the loud speaker right over my head, while men file inside. There's usually a nice cool breeze around this time. I make it back home, extremely tired, hot and sweaty and now the family wants to socialize.

Family social time means I sit on a cushion while the family tells me they love me, I'm their sister I'm very clever and try intently to communicate with me more complex things in arabic, while Marseilles, the two year old climbs all over me (the word for monkey I learned is elda) and they all insist I sing "the Itsy Bitsy spider over and over again". They insist I eat their food, drink their tea, tell them about my life, my friends, my family, my pictures, and all in Arabic. Its quite good practice but also very draining. They then periodically ring our doorbell to check on us, help us clean, cook, ask us to socialize.

When I'm home during the day its either socialize time or cleaning and cooking time, they say I'm very clever in my cooking and cleaning innovations (washing everything with dishsoap and drying it on the ironing board and chairs, cooking pasta with cheese and garlic, etc.) My roommate are home at night after work while I work at night so its strange. Today I did Alissa's bollywood burn work out, it was great, and good to stretch out cause life here makes u pretty tense, always getting honked and yelled at and almost run over.

Anyway, such is life, tomorrow I go to visit my host family from two years ago, I talked to Mohamed my host brother on the phone a few times and my host mama once (we conveyed how are you and I love you). Saturday we look at apartments. So life is busy and consists of a lot of commuting. Eunice and I are about to go to Coptic Cairo to look around cause church plans got too complicated. Love you all, please keep in touch!

Maasara

So we have now moved into an apartment in a Christian family's complex in Maasara, this is a lower class neighborhood off the metro. I walk to and from the metro to get to work every day. This family insists that we're home every day at 10 PM, its a little stressful because Egypt does not run on that kind of a time line, or really any time line. An hour late is perfectly normal, an extra half hour to hang out when you need to meet someone in ten minutes is also the norm I'm discovering.

This family we're living with speaks only arabic. We've been able to communicate a lot considering, but its still pretty stressful, especially when they try to clean our apartment and feed us constantly. I know that seems amazing, and it is, but also we just our craving a little American privacy maybe. They insist that we are their sisters.

The family consists of a mother, a father, two daughters (Gigi who is in her twenties and pregnant and Sarah who is 16 and knows some English and takes us everywhere), one daughter in law, one granddaughter who is 2ish and another on the way, a neice of some sort who is 5 and her mother, and some other random man we can't figure out. They mostly live across the hall and check on us constantly and control the lock on the door to the building. A little overbearing, but sweet.

Some highlights:
1. being able to communicate with Gigi that she had high blood pressure and wanted us to pray for her and that we of course would, with almost absolutely no spoken language

2. seeing sheep grazing in the garbage pile in the middle of the main street every morning and ducks sitting on the sidewalk

3. succesfully riding a mini bus

4. seeing children playing hot lava tag and hide and seek in the street

5. getting my tomatoes for free from the nice old tomato man

6. being able to navigate the metro competently

7. taking a shower in a tiny plastic tub with a faucet two feet off the ground

8. washing my clothes with dish soap in the same tub and cooking myself a meal from pasta cheese and garlic, communicating this to my host family in arabic, and being told I was very clever.

9. My little student Nada coming up to me and saying, "miss Kristina, can we have homework?"

10. Discussing the upcoming U.S. election with my adult Egyptian students


So anyway, life is pretty ridiculous right now but I am surviving and loving it, by the grace of God

airif hamawetak! (you know, I kill you!)

The last few days…

Tuesday: I went out to Nasr City for training. Farek – our hotel taxi driver friend agreed to take me out there. After dodging through traffic and hunting for the address, we found the school. I went in and immediately saw several seemingly very happy and friendly higabed (wearing headscarves) women. The quickly ushered me into Miss Shelly’s class. Miss Shelly is a larger blue-eyed American woman in full Islamic robe and higab. She was teaching a class of 9-10 year olds. Her teenage daughter came in soon and started talking to me as well. It turns out this family moved from Virginia to Gaza to Egypt (because the conditions were so bad in Gaza). Miss Shelly is American and her husband is Palestinian.

I watched a class of teenagers after this (the boys were awful and the girls were terrible suck-ups). Then they fed me a hotdog sandwich (interesting stuff, let me tell you). I met another girl who was 16 and moved her from the states indefinitely with her mother. She doesn't think she'll ever go back because of the stares that a woman in full Muslim dress gets there, not to mention the death threats and comments like, "are you related to Osama bin Laden?" She asked me if I was Muslim. I informed her, "no I'm a Christian" (I learned later evidently the only one working there). She then asks me, "what do you think about Islam?" (umm what kind of a question is that?) I tell her I'm interested in it and she then proceeds to tell me all the books she will bring me to learn about it, she has ALL the Muslim books in English. They also all proceed to show me this virtual tarot card reader on the internet named Peter who uncannily answers every question you ask it, but I think the trick has to do with the person typing... hmmm

So I met this awesome group of teenage teachers down on the street and they bought me pineapple juice, water, and helped me buy a cell phone (and pick out a good number). I felt kinda bad for this other teacher that had just come from California like two weeks ago but lived next to the school and basically never left the building, even on his day off, because he was scared of the language barrier. I mean he paid people to get food for him. Weird.

So after that I watched an adult class and realized, hey I can totally do this. It really is pretty easy looking, and everyone is extremely nice, although perhaps a bit eager to convert me to Islam or ask me out, as the gender and case may be. They did give me awesome advice though from: "watch out for the men, they just want your blue eyes and a visa" to "don't drink the water" to "don't go fishing in the Nile with a net" to "you can get sushi in Cairo." Although I won't be working in that branch most likely.

So after this I met up with Freddie, this is my Egyptian friend from Calvin, and it was super weird seeing each other out of context. Like neither of us belonged there for the other person. Ok anyway, I watched him and his church friends play soccer forever on this crazy clay field at a church in the middle of all the Cairene high rise apartment buildings, we had a good catch up talk and his best friend drove us to this drive in fast food place, haha, and then took me home, American music through all of its history playing on the radio. So weird! Being in a car in Cairo (this was my first time I think) is so much different than any other experience I've had of the place. I talked to my old host brother Mohammed on the phone, its so weird having a phone here with like five numbers in it, and I can talk to people I couldn't talk to in the states but can't talk to people I could in the states. Argh.

So yesterday Eunice came in and immediately our driver Farek told her she must change her name because it sounds exactly like a man's name in Arabic (the English equivalent is Jonah, from the Bible/Qur'an). Her arabic name is now Euni, haha. Farek also explained to us why Egyptians say "welcome to Alaska" and "I kill you!" so frequently, as well as how to succesfully use that phrase in arabic conversation without offending, not that Egyptians seemingly ever get offended. So last night we went out for some gourmet kosheri again at Abu Tarek and caught up on the last two years, where our waiter discretely slipped Alissa two movie tickets in a tourist guide, haha. Then we went out for some tea and hookah (shai w shisha) at this awesome place in a side alley that allows women. I felt totally relaxed for probably the first time since I got here, and not just from the shisha I don't think. These little kids started climbing all over us demanding food, money, attention, and pictures. We gave them a little of each until a man that worked there picked up this little toddler by the arm and hauled him through the air to the other side of the street. Crazy! But evidently the kid was fine, and used to it.

Today I spent most of the day learning arabic from the guys that work at our hotel after Amir told us last night to please not waste our time here because we won't learn arabic unless we really want to and we won't learn it in the states. Ali, my favorite of the guys that work here, this smiley old skinny man that barely speaks English taught me a ton of vocab, and was really excited about it, and wrote it all down for me. He taught me basically every object in the hotel and the human body and quizzed me about it all day. Eunice and I went to our favorite chain coffee shop here and now she's passed out from jet lag, Alissa's at a movie premier at the opera house with her ambassador friends from the Arab league and I'm sitting in our dark room avoiding this sketchy Nigerian who forced excessive amounts of peanuts on me and now wants to "go into business" together. Sketch. Although, there was a peanut in the mouth tossing competition that was pretty amusing among me and this other non-sketchy Nigerian and Farek and Amir that work there which I'm sad had to end.

So conclusions on life in Cairo so far:

1. You can't control anything. This makes it much easier to live in the moment, and if you can deal with ambiguity and chaos makes life much more laid back and fun, which is what I love about it.

2. This forces people living here and visiting to adapt what Alissa calls, "a certain Egyptian fatalism." Example: "I might die today in about 100 different ways, its alright, as God wills it."

3. People here love each other. They especially love children and old people and seemingly foreigners. This means any old woman can be walking down the street, whisper something to a strange young man loitering with his friends and yelling at girls next to her and he immediately helps her up onto the curb, telling her to go with peace (I saw this the other day). Everybody also kisses everybody's children and makes sure they stay out of trouble. This does not mean they stay out of trouble.

ok I think that's enough for now...