How I want to live

So I've had this hazy idea of how I want to live in my head right:

-I want to live simply with just enough money to survive and not be stingy with people
-I want to be involved in a church
-I want to tithe
-I want to be able to take care of myself
-but I also want to rely on God to take care of me
-I want to live as far from selfish motivations as possible
-I want to surround myself with people that are different than me in several ways but who I respect and trust and respect and trust me
-I want to live as close to how Jesus lived and taught as possible
-I want to be able to control my tongue and my actions

Here's how its going:
-So the living simply thing is somewhat forced upon me by my current salary, which is excellent, although my expenditures are still maybe not the most wise all the time, and its limiting my ability to take Arabic class, which is a little sad.

-Getting involved in a church: I've been going every week AND socializing after the service with almost everyone, fighting my long-engrained American/suburban urge to run away right after the last song, separating church into a little peice of my time. Today I sucked up my fear of churches (I've never really been involved in one and when I was younger they were an awkward place of being made fun of and ostracized) and headed over to my church) and headed over there to start volunteering. They gave me an application (which is kinda intense) and told me to come back with it filled in and talk to them about what I wanted to do and when. So I had my application, ok I guess my business is done, I should go home right? But I was like, hey I'm at church, maybe this whole getting involved thing actually involves being at church. SO I kinda sat around on the patio and in the sanctuary for awhile and then was like, hey, Rev Drew said I should go visit him anytime. Usually at home I would take that as a polite invitation to never really visit, but these people seem pretty genuine and hey, its not like the Anglican Reverend will get angry I visited. So I go to say hi, he had a meeting, so it was brief, but I was proud of myself, haha. Then I went to find the Ethiopian Reverend who I had known two years ago and saw again yesterday. I found his office in the corner of the sanctuary and sat and talked to him for probably an hour and a half. He is awesome, and has the best analogies ever, even though his English is definitely a second or third language.

Example:
"If you have a friend, or a boyfriend, someone you love, you call them all the time, "hello, how are you? what are you doing now? I miss you? What do you want?" This is the same with God, he wants to hear your voice. If you don't call God's mobile, he will wonder where you went, why you don't want to talk to him, and if you love him, you will want to talk to him. Praying is very important, personal prayer, not just in church."

Example 2:
"God is like a flower opening inside you're heart, he changes your mind."
This example came with a story:
This one German guy was praying for a beautiful wife every day, every day! He wanted beautiful hair and eyes and a wonderful wife from God, but for a long time, there was no answer. One day this man heard a voice say that his wife would be in this one church at this one time, and to go there. The man went, the church was empty so he waited. Then a woman came and sat on the other side of the church. She was very black. This man prayed to God, "it can't be that woman, she's very black!" but God told him, :"this is your wife." The man was upset and cried but then he went to talk to this woman and found out that their lives were almost the same. They had the same heart and God had told them both to come to this church at this time to meet each other. Now the man says he loves this woman because their hearts are the same.

And relationship advice:
"sometimes it is very bad because the woman is not strong and the man is strong and then Satan comes to the woman and then gets into the man, or the man is not strong and the woman is strong. This is a big problem, very dangerous. If the man and woman are both strong and God is strong with them, then Satan cannot come and they will be happy forever. There are many stories about this. I was going to marry one woman and I prayed to God about it and he showed me a vision that she had a boyfriend in another country. I asked her if she did and she said no. I asked her if she was a Christian, she said yes. I told her God told me about her boyfriend and she said I'm sorry I do have a boyfriend and went away. This is very bad."

so after this I met one of the staff who does work with refugees and he told me I can help with clothes on Thursday and interviews on Monday with him, its very easy and they really need my help, they have been praying for someone to come.

-Tithing: so far ok

-Taking care of myself: I'm still alive and relatively healthy, all of my needs met at the moment

-relying on God to take care of me: One of the reasons I'm here is that's necessary here. The chances for death and dismemberment have got to be in the hundreds every day, and even higher for me as a clueless foreigner, so far as I said, I'm a live and relatively healthy, all my limbs intact. Money is scarce but so far I'm fine.

-as far from selfish motivations as possible: This is difficult. I am probably doing the worst in this regard. I love having my own time and my own space and my own stuff, although I don't love it at the same time. Egypt constantly challenges me to give that up but it also constantly shows me how selfish and cowardly I really am. I do what I want to do, which is great, but also pretty selfish.

-surrounding myself with people different from me but that I respect and trust and vice versa:
This is also difficult because trust and respect take time to build. There a lot of ppl different from me, but really what I'm realizing this time around much more is that people really are all very similar. Egyptians are selfish and loving and in pain and ambitious and apathetic just like anyone else. We all have good and bad and competing characteristics in us. So they're different but so similar too. And I have been spending a lot of time with ppl who speak english between work, church, and my roommates.

-close to Jesus
I hope I'm getting closer. I'm realizing just being here is not gonna cut it, I have to work hard to submit myself to God and what he wants and what other people need and to love others.

-controlling my tongue and actions:
I do think I'm maturing in this regard. I am not blabbing everyone's secrets even when I want to, I am waiting for before I act or talk if I'm not sure its the best, instead of just doing it and apologizing later. But I think life has been teaching me this the hard way more than anything.

SO I hope to keep striving.