Amusing Conversations

today at church directly following the service:

Maher: My name is Maher, I am from Egypt, I am a Christian and a mechanical engineer. I hope you will marry me.
me: awkward laugh
Maher: I have a flat with five rooms by the metro
me: "that's nice, " slowly edging away
Maher: look at my ID card, it says christian, engineer
me: "oh" trying to escape through crowd weaving and talking to other men I kinda know
Maher: "when can I see you again, tonight?"
me: "probably not." ( Hey random old people how are you?)
Maher: "you don't like me?"
me: "I'm confused about what you want."
Maher: "I told you, what is your answer, I want you to marry me."
me: "no"
Maher: "why?"
me: "I'm not looking thanks."
Maher glares at me than turns and walks out of the church complex (seriously did he come to church to find a foreign wife? I thought it was bad in america, but literally 20 seconds after meeting someone)


At work:

A1: "you seem different today."
me: "I went to church?"
A1: "you prayed?"
me: "yes"
A2: "Christians don't pray, they just say, God give me this, God give me that."
me: "that's a strong statement and not true. Sometimes we say God is great, I love you God."
A1: "praying is good, you will go to paradise. O wait, its impossible! haha. In shah Allah I will bring you with me to paradise."
A2: Every Muslim can bring one person, if they can find them. "ya Kristeen, where are you?! haha"
A1: "I will find you. No clothes."
A2: "No clothes on the day of judgment"

A1: "in India the cow is a God. You know VIP? What about VIC? Very Important Cow."

In class:

Me: "what is bad manners in Egypt?"
R: "hitting the animals"
boy #1 in back of class: "this is a common practice. Or kicking cats, we love to kick cats."
boy #2 demonstrates the motion of a lassoo while
boy #3: "or holding them by the tail and throwing them"
R: "My brother was bit by a mouse and then he bit it on the tail."
me: "Do you know hamster? :
A: "like a cute mouse?"
me: "and microwave? In America, we put hamsters in the microwave, they get bigger and bigger and pop!"
(choruses of laughter)

MH: "Can we seperate?"
me: "into different classes?"
MH: no, "can we seperate!? Its my birthday!"
me: "Celebrate! Of course!"
MH: I want to buy u a can