Maasalaama Masr

I'm nearing the end of my painful week of goodbyes. My roommate commented that more always happens in the first and last week. This is true emotionally, mentally and literally.

I am thinking and feeling and doing more in this last week than probably a normal month here. This is saying a lot.

Last weekend was the last time I saw M. We went to a wedding hall that was super fancy and way out of his price range. I felt ridiculously out of place, but pretty fancy, esp cause I'm sure it looked like I was the fiance instead of the dumpy friend tagging along, that and foreigners are always fancy, no matter who they are.

Early in the week I met my friend F. This involved an unwanted trip to the Cairo University police station because of some punk guys who were annoying me. F insisted I "take my rights" while yelling furiously in Arabic. Evidently the conversation was something about the guys being rich and living in a villa, and F telling them she was poor and that doesn't make any difference, they're still acting wrongly. I kept saying, "there's no problem!" and finally got to say I didn't want them to go to prison or anything to happen except them to stop talking to foreigners forever (or something like that in Arabic). They promised. Everyone left intact.

F told me a conversion story of a girl who read the Song of Songs loudly in the streets and then was convinced that it was inappropriate because a man propositioned her for sex right there. She went to her roof in a rain storm to ask God for an answer and received only the call to prayer at dawn saying, "God is the greatest" three times. She became a Muslim. This led to a discussion of how a holy book could discuss sex in such detail... ya not sure the Christian theologians have a great answer for that yet, but at the same time, y shouldn't it?

After eating pizza, and chocolate cake, and ice-cream, and her offering me money in case I needed it to travel, we said our goodbyes. Sucks.

Thursday involved work goodbyes. I got a nice certificate and engraved decorative bowl. We had a nice faluca ride and I gave all my interns a hug and walked away quickly so they couldn't see the tears coming. I got quite attached to them, esp my Danish guys.

Then Thursday night involved my last night hanging out with A, my best guy friend now that M is engaged. This involved his favorite expression: "O Kirsten, you're going to hell" HAHAHHAAA, with further description of the fire that will be all over my body and how I need to fear hell. Strangely, that actually did make me think about what it would be like in hell and because I am mortal I should stop taking the joys of life so much for granted, like sitting on a bench with a friend, not surrounded by fire, but a cool breeze, that is nice.

Friday involved shopping and then goodbyes to the guys I used to work with when I was a teacher. This is A and O and T (the new friend I met through them). We went to the outdoor cafe we went to like every week at least last summer. I like this going full circle thing, the weather was perfect for it again, the same people, but we've all changed in ten months. The end of an era.

Saturday it was foreigner time. We sat in Al-Azhar park. My roommates and our guy friends. We all were here together two years ago, and we're all back. In that circle sitting in the grass perched above old Islamic Cairo I saw a glimpse of what I think Christian community should be. Sharing questions and answers, listening and talking and enjoying just being together. I will miss them all.

And as I've been nervous these last two weeks, not really sleeping, I go today to say the worst goodbye of all, my family here. Guilt inducing tears have been flowing for at least a month, and this will just be the most horrible day of my life I somehow anticipate. I want to see them, but not if they're being miserable on my account.

SO Maasalaaama Masr (goodbye Egypt) and I hope to see you again soon. I'm tired of being elbowed out of the metro, of being assessed up and down by vicious teenage girls and sketchy old men, being separated from nature or any sense of calm and quiet, but at the same time I do love you, and you are still beautiful. I will miss you.